Who Chooses the Engagement Ring?

Ah, sweet bliss surrounds the happy couple in love! The two lovebirds are about to enter the next phase of life and what could ever go wrong? Well, possibly the engagement ring! The man may fear choosing a ring she hates and the woman may fear he’ll choose a ring she hates. Sadly, neither person knows how to broach the subject. Most people who are in love detest the banal conversation of something that should be so poetic.

Of course, tradition has it that the man picks out the ring and totally sends the lady into joyous shock when he presents it to her. With more modern couples, the woman knows the proposal is coming but still doesn’t give any input about the style of the ring. It seems as if any discussion of the ring is taboo! But it is after all, the woman who will wear the ring every day.

The End of the Stone Age

Now that society no longer tells a woman to be shy and hide her feelings, the woman finally has a say in the matter of her engagement ring. Men can breathe a little easier; the decision is not solely up to them. This can and should be a shared decision which will bring the couple closer to each other.

Today there are more options that allow a couple to enter into this lovely act together while still maintaining every ounce of romance and spontaneity. The two can have fun during this time of their relationship and take all the stress out of the big surprise. The better communication a couple has-and it better be good to ensure a good marriage-the happier both will be with the ring selection.

Ladies are often perfectly happy to pick out the ring and let the man decide when he wants to propose. Some couples, who are already sharing money and financial decisions, are thrilled to be able to pick the ring out together. Many see this as a way of strengthening their partnering power, which is very romantic.

Keeping With Tradition

For the man who wants to keep with tradition and surprise his future missus with the engagement ring, a few words of wisdom must be bestowed. First, be sure to take a close look at her jewelry and observe her overall fashion style. It might be that she dismisses fashion trends altogether; in which case she will most likely want a simple and classic style of ring, such as a diamond solitaire. Or perhaps she is always on the cutting edge of design. Such a lady will probably adore the latest tension settings or floating diamond rings.

Second, he should enlist some help. Finding her style is mandatory, and one of the most reliable sources is her closest friend; as long as she will NOT spill the beans before the proposal is made! Her best girlfriend will also root for the man who includes her in the ring fun. If your woman is close to her mother or sister, then this will be a good time to bond with your new in-laws. They will all love to be brought into this decision and will also have the most insight into what ring to pick.

The Types of Rings

To narrow one’s focus, look at the most popular rings on the market right now. Current trends can help with decision making because the latest styles and trends are where most ring designers will be putting their best efforts. The Solitaire and the Pave styles are currently two of the most popular engagement ring settings.

The Solitaire ring is simply a band with one beautiful diamond. The Pave style has many small diamonds all around the band and one large diamond in the middle. The difference between the two is all about style. Both can cost about the same but the Solitaire definitely has a more classic grace while the Pave is often considered more bold and flashier.

Diamond Shape

Yes, there is so much to think about. Now that the style is picked out, the next step is to choose the shape of the diamond. Thankfully, the popular choices are narrowed down to only two options again. Unless there is a definite shape she adores, keep life simple by choosing between the Round or Princess Cut shapes.

The Round diamond shape has a round top edge and a cone shaped bottom edge. Cutting a diamond into a perfectly round shape is extremely challenging for a jeweler so this is the costlier choice. A Princess Cut has a square top and a pyramid shape, following the natural lines of the diamond. Both shapes are designed for brilliance and sparkle.


When a person boasts about their diamond, they are usually talking about the number of carats. Carat describes the diamond’s weight. Unless a couple is extremely wealthy, the average carat weight of a diamond engagement ring should range from around 0.5 to 1.0 carats. One should always remember to never spend beyond their means, even though the proposal is a special occasion. Let this be the start of something beautiful and not the start of dreaded debt.

Let the Proposal Be a Surprise

The couple that plays together stays together. Couples can grow closer when they pick the ring out together. This is the first major purchase that can dictate their partnering skills in the future. Going this route also takes a huge amount of pressure off the otherwise unguided man and his worrying woman. Get the ring and then let the proposal be the stuff romance films are made of.

About the Author: Lynn Carson blogs atEverything Princess Cut“, and writes about Princess Cut Engagement Rings, Wedding Sets and other fine jewelry.

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